The Dark Side of Cartoon

Every day I sit in front of the tv with my kids and watch the same things over and over and over again. The top cartoons in my house are Tom and Jerry and Scooby Doo. While I used to love these shows (they were my very favorite as a child) I have grown sick of watching the same episodes repeatedly. But alas my kid love it and I love them so I will have to suffer though having it burned into my brain forever. As I was once again watching Scooby run from the pirate ghost my mind began to wander. I began contemplating the actual meaning behind Scooby and his mystery solving pals. I came to several conclusions as I had plenty of time to think on it. I am first wondering where these kids parents are. I mean they are running all over the place in a van solving mysteries at all times of day. They must have had no upbringing and are obviousy high school dropouts. This may seem farfetched for some considering that Velma is a super genious but really it is not. Let u look at the facts. Shaggy and Scooby are obvioulsy smoking dope. Who else stops in the middle of being chased by a ghost in order to eat a liverwurst alamode or get motivated to go into seemingly dangerous situations by the promise of "scooby snacks"? Actually yummy cookie snacks or really hash brownies? And just what are they doing in the back of the mystery anyway? My vote is that they are puffing on a bong. Why else would they be so paranoid and hungry all the time? Now Fred looks like a clean cut boy from a nice family right? No way. Fred is an obvious coke addict with possibly a roid problem. He's buff and well dressed and knows his way around the rough parts of town. He has the need to be the alpha male which shows in the company he keeps. Dahpne is a diet pill addict for sure. She is obsessed with her looks. Case in point, when their boat is sinking in d1ark and foggy water her final words as she goes under the murky water is "oh no, my hairdoo!" WTF? And it is totally obvious that her and Fred have sex on the sly. They are always going off alone to "look for clues". Velma is more of a mystery then the others and possibly more complicated then the rest as well. My opinion is that she comes from a very demanding family whose expections she cannot live up to. In order to make them proud she runs around solving mysteries and due to the long hours and hard work she takes speed to stay on top of things. I also think she is a closet homosexual. She has never made a move for Fred and seems not to mind when Fred and Daphne pair off toghether. I don't have any hard core evidence of this last theory but I just feel it in my gut. Of course my kids won't see what I see until they are much older and more cynical so for now I will let them enjoy their ghost mysteries and the meddling kids who bust them wide open.